About Sleight of Mouth

Today’s entry is a review.  If you’d prefer to skip right to “Verbal Magic–-how to use the incredible power of the NLP sleight of mouth patterns to transform your communication”, click here.

To hear what I have to say about Verbal Magic, read on.

If you’re like me, you probably have stacks of persuasion and NLP books all around your house.  The coffee table, the kitchen counter, next to your bed, in the bathroom (why can’t people be more careful where they get toothpaste–have they no respect for Covert Persuasion by Kevin Hogan?) and even occasionally on the bookshelves.  I mean, who wants to be more than a room away from Frogs Into Princes, by Richard Bandler?  And if you’re like me, you surely have your favorites. Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins, perhaps? How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie, maybe (I once met a millionaire who had read this book 40 times–can you imagine)?  The free-flowing exploration of Richard Bandler’s thoughts on hypnosis in Persuasion Engineering is invaluable to those of us that persuade for a living, is it not?

What exciting times we live in to have such resources at our fingertips!  On that note, I’d like to share with you a little gem I’ve discovered recently, which is bound to shake up the neurolinguistic programming community.

But first, let me back up a little.  If you follow this blog, you know that sleight of mouth is a pet interest of mine.  I’ve spent some time studying this subject, and if you don’t think it’s for you, it’s probably because so much of the information out there is, simply put, garbage.  Try implementing SOM the way it’s explained on Wikipedia, and you’re more likely to get a punch in the mouth than a sale.  Forget about convincing your professor to give you an extra day on that paper.  And definitely forget about putting the “smooth moves” on a potential love interest.  A lof of the examples that are readily available (even outside of Wiki) are confrontational and just plain ignorant.  Not what we’re looking for, that’s for sure!  We’re here to learn to persuade, to enchant, to influence!

The “gem” is a book/system called Verbal Magic, written by Ericksonian hypnotist, John Bridges and Master NLP Practitioner, Scott Maly, and it comes complete to help the average person master the sleight of mouth techniques.  The book comes in pdf format, but what got me really excited is the accompanying audio download (great for that commute to work!)  The quality of this particular nlp mp3 is good and easy/pleasant to listen to.  The author’s training as a hypnotist comes through in the narration, which simultaneously calms and inspires the listener, all while delivering a meaningful education in persuasion, through solid examples that apply to a diverse number of situations.  In my experience Verbal Magic has the greatest number of SOM examples with real life applications (seriously, example after example after example–minus the awkward, unrealistic nonsense you find all over the web).  This program really shines in its suggested techniques for redirecting the thought processes of another person, and for creating convincers in that person’s mind (i.e. sweet, sweet seduction).  However, it also delivers for times when you might want to overcome resistance and/or move a person into action. VM also offers a few things I’ve never seen anywhere else.  Bridges’ and Maly’s idea of “linguisic operators” (a way to add, subtract, divide or multiply the effects of your words) is fascinating, and definitely worth a closer look.  Depending on what you’re accustomed to spending on your education, you may (or may not) find it a little pricey, but I really like the idea of a formidable influence arsenal, and I sure feel better when I’m “packing”  useable real-life persuasion knowledge.  It is precisely this kind of stuff that helps me make more sales every single day, and moreover, what allows me to have a significant impact on those around me.  The cool, cutting-edge, make-a-splash stuff.  Watch out world!

For more information on this e-book, visit it’s website at www.verbalmagic.com

written by April \\ tags: dilts, nlp resources, persuasion, Richard Bandler, sales, sleight of mouth

The first pattern we’ll be discussing was originally identified by Robert Dilts in his book, Sleight of Mouth, which (not surprisingly) is one of my personal NLP resources, and which is hopefully on your bookshelf as well (if not, your local librarian is almost certainly a lovely individual who will be delighted to point you in the right direction). The first bit of SOM we’ll be discussing is called “Intent”.  I’ll assume that your intent is of a good nature, and share some of the secrets I’ve learned.  Come along, now.

“Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood!”

So sang the popular 60’s band, The Animals.  “Misunderstood” is such a dreadful word, isn’t it?  Nobody enjoys the angst that comes with feeling misunderstood.  But, not to worry—as budding NLP masters we know that where emotions are strong, so are the possibilities for real influence.  Conversations where we may be dealing with someone who is upset, are where the Intent Pattern is very useful, and where we can make a meaningful difference in the beliefs of others. Intent does this by placing emphasis on the motive behind the words.

Take for example, an angry boss who is upset that you haven’t met a deadline.  Your boss might say,

“This is unacceptable!  We’re all behind schedule now.  You’ve really put me behind the 8-ball, here!”

Now, when most people explain this technique, they focus on explaining our own positive intention.  They might suggest that you say something like,

“My intention is not to let you down, but to give you the best quality results possible.  In this case, more time is needed to produce an outcome that everyone will be happy with.”

This is excellent, and is certainly a huge improvement on the way people usually deal with this sort of uncomfortable situation.  In my opinion, though, what separates the neuro linguistic pros from the amateurs is the ability to step into the intent of the other person.  We need to ask ourselves, “Why are they saying this? What good are they looking for here?  In what way can I show that I understand them?”

Going back to our example, you might also say to your boss,

“I know that you’re under a lot of pressure, and you want to bring this whole project together as successfully as possible.  By allowing enough time for high-quality results, we can really stand apart from our competitors and turn this thing into a real winner.”

Using this approach, you have accomplished a couple of things.  You’ve expressed an understanding of both your boss’s difficult situation, and his/her positive intentions.  Furthermore, you’ve carried their positive intention to the next logical level for them, which is to get better results than they originally hoped for (all while giving you more time to finish your work, and thinking it’s their idea!).

I hope you’re beginning to see the huge possibilities for implementing this little piece of nlp persuasion.  Asking the question of intent brings us naturally and easily to the very way that people want to be persuaded.  Stephen Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  I think he was onto something.

written by April \\ tags: nlp how to, Robert Dilts sleight of mouth, sleight of mouth

Greetings, fellow persuaders, lovers of influence, charmers and leaders in communication!  I’m April Mack, and I’m excited to be joined by my friends (old and new), as we explore and learn more about sleight of mouth.  If you’re like me, you’re not interested in information for information’s sake.  You’re undoubtedly interested in gathering the tools necessary to build a really great life!  And although we probably differ on the details, most of us can agree that a really great life includes exceptional relationships, health, and of course, finances.  as far as I can tell, nobody has all the answers, but knowing how to persuade those around us, and how to recruit key people to our various life causes seems positively essential!  Enter:  Persuasion. And while we’re at it, why not the unstoppable, seemingly magical, “I love it when you talk to me like that ” kind of persuasion”?

Beginning with a natural interest in persuasion and influence, I’ve spent the last 15 or so years, studying a lot about neuro linguistic programming, and even taken some courses in hypnosis.  Some of it helped me a little, and some of it helped me a lot.  And some of it, simply put, rocked my world!  I’ve long been intrigued by the sleight of mouth patterns first made famous by Robert Dilts, and I also suspected that within these 14 language structures lies a potent secret to mastering persuasion and influence.  But let’s face it.  They can be confusing.  And like so many things in life, recognizing the power of thse techniques is one thing, but understanding how to use them in a meaningful way is another altogether.  Furthermore, the sleight of mouth patterns are often presented in a dull or awkward way, and they just don’t feel natural (a real confidence killer when it comes to actually using them)!  I knew it wasn’t going to be enough to just memorize them.  And odd, unrealistic examples weren’t going to help much either.  But if I couldn’t unlock the patterns for myself, then why couldn’t I just forget about them and move on to something else?   I knew my unconscious mind was hard at work, trying to crack the code.  So I gave the matter another look (and another look, and another look), and in time I made some pretty exciting discoveries!  What I’ve learned is what I’d like to share with you here.  In the days to come, we’ll take a closer look at nlp sleight of mouth and the 14 language patterns that earned Dilts a place in nlp history.

written by April \\ tags: Robert Dilts, sleight of mouth, sleight of mouth examples